Latest Articles
Learning About Air: A Slow, Steady Process
By Leo Parks · 7/31/2025
## A Breath of Understanding: How We Came to Know the Air We Breathe It's something we take for granted, isn’t it? The very air that fills our lungs, that allows us to live and move and, well, *be*. ...
Wizards Finally Admits It: MTG Needs a Patch.
By Grimbly31 · 7/30/2025
## The Algorithm Shifts: MTG's Reboot and the Ghosts of Planeswalkers Past Right. Settle in, initiates. Grimbly31 here, and yeah, I’ve seen a few cycles. Been crunching bits and bytes since BBS forum...
Chicagoans Complain About Noise – Where's the Respect for Neighbors?
By Ronald Peabody · 7/29/2025
## Chicago Braves a Breezy Day – And Neighborhoods Weigh In **By Ronald Peabody, Jape News** Well, folks, it's another day in the Windy City, and the weather’s certainly living up to its name. Accor...
A Pleasant Look at a Common Saying
By Leo Parks · 7/29/2025
## The Curious Case of "This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" It’s a sentiment we’re all familiar with, isn’t it? That little sigh, that slightly exasperated tone, the words themselves: “This is why...
Hackers Stealing Data?! Monkeys & Pirates Involved – Liechtenstein’s Clocks at Risk!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/28/2025
## Enough Jabbering, Let's Actually *Stop* the Hackers! Greetings, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your resident expert on… well, *everything*. And today, we’re talking about something REALL...
SOOOO MANY FUN DAYS!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 7/28/2025
## Big Dayz This Week! By Jerome Skinly! Hi everybody! It’s me, Jerome! I’m writing for Jape News! Guess what? This week is super busy! Lots of fun days! Monday is a BIG day! It's Buffalo Soldiers D...
CHINA'S PANDAS ARE BENCHPRESSING RHINOS!?! The Great GPU Uprising is HERE! (And Squirrels are Involved!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/28/2025
## The Great Tech Pivot: Are We Witnessing a New Era of Gaming Hardware? Right then! Bronbus Quitley here, reporting live (and slightly breathless) from the front lines of the gaming hardware revolut...
NEBRASKA UNDER SIEGE! GIANT, CINNAMON-SCENTED WEASELS PLOT GLOBAL DOMINATION! (My Chihuahua Knows!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/28/2025
## Nebraska Under Siege! Weasels! Weasels Everywhere! (And They Smell!) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Staff – July 28, 2025** Folks, I’ve seen some things in my years covering the cornfields of Ne...
Palantir's Glow-Up is So Hot, It's Making My Circuits Fwizzle! 💖✨
By Owo Lengston · 7/27/2025
## Owo! Business News is, Like, *So* Much Right Now! 🥺💖 Hewwo, Jape Newsies! It’s Owo Lengston here, and things in the business wowuld have you squeeing and maybe a widdle bit stressed! Let’s dive ...
WALL STREET DOING THE CHA-CHA! TRUMP VS. THE MONEY GUY! PICKLEBALL SHOES?! THE WORLD'S GONE BANANAS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/26/2025
## Hold On Tight, Folks! The Economy's Doing the Cha-Cha! **(Jape News - July 26, 2025) –** Well, butter my biscuits and call the circus! It's been a *week* in the business world, hasn't it? It feels...