Latest Articles
MARSHMALLOW CLOUDS & TANGOING SEAWEED—IS THE WEATHER PLAYING PRANKS?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/23/2025
## Is That a Cloud...Or a Giant Marshmallow?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or…is it good? Honestly, I’m looking out my window and it’s…well, it’s *...
PIGEONS ARE RUNNING WALL STREET & NOBODY TOLD YOU?! (Plus Biscuits & Alpacas!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/15/2025
## Pigeon Post is Back, and Nobody Noticed (Except Me!) - A Business Roundup with Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up your bootstraps because the business world is doing the cha-cha! It's a wild...
TOASTERS ARE LISTENING & MY BOTTLE CAP COLLECTION PREDICTED IT ALL!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/11/2025
## Is Your Toaster Spying on You? (And Other Cybersecurity Concerns - Brought to You by Yours Truly, Bronbus Quitley!) Okay, folks, buckle up! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood cyberse...
BADGERS, BANANAS & BAD TRANSLATIONS: THE INTERNET’S LOST HAMSTER-RUN KINGDOM!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/8/2025
## Remember When the Internet Was Made of…Whatever *This* Was? A Deep Dive into Old Newgrounds Folks, lemme tell ya, I've seen things on the internet. *Things*. Before TikTok dances and influencer ap...
HOT DOGS ARE SALADS & THE PIGEONS KNOW EVERYTHING (Plus Zucchini Wisdom!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/26/2025
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Or… a Salad?! My Investigation (and the Pigeon Conspiracy) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Culinary Correspondent (and Expert on All Things Delicious, Mostly) Okay, folks, ...
HOT DOGS ARE SECRETLY WATERMELONS AND THE DALAI LAMA IS A PIGEON UNION BOSS—I HAVE PROOF!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/22/2025
## Is That a Sandwich in Your Hand? Or… a Salad?! Bronbus Quitley Investigates the Great Hot Dog Conundrum Folks, let me tell you, I've seen a LOT in my time as a roving reporter for Jape News. I onc...
TOYS ARE ALIVE I TELL YA—PIGEONS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES & MY AUNT MILDRED IS STILL WAITING FOR HER KNITTING MOMENT!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/21/2025
## Hold the Phone, Folks! Toys Are…EVOLVING?! (And My Aunt Mildred’s Knitting Still Isn't Trending) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Toy Correspondent (and self-proclaimed expert on fun)** Okay, buck...
NEWGROUNDS STILL EXISTS & IS FULL OF ROOMBAS, RUST, & MY ASSISTANT’S CONFUSION!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/19/2025
## Hold on to Your Hats, Folks! Newgrounds is *Still* Doing Things! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, settle in, because lemme tell ya, I just spent the last… well, let’s just say *a while* digging throu...
LIZARDS, COMMUNISM & YOUR CHARITY: Is Your Kindness a Government PLOT?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/16/2025
## Are Your Charities *Really* Charities? The Shocking Truth About… Well, Everything! **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Investigative Reporter (and Expert on… Stuff)** Okay, folks, buckle up. You thin...
FRIDGE TYRANNY MUST END! Bananas Demand Sunshine, Potatoes Plot Escape!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/14/2025
## The Fridge Rebellion: What *Doesn't* Belong in the Cold! – By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, I’ve been doing some *serious* investigati...