Latest Articles
BABY NAMES ARE A PLOT AGAINST SPOCKET AND MY AUNT MILDREDāS PARROT!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/26/2026
## Hold the Phone! Your Baby's Name Might Get You Arrested! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, settle in! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood name-ologist, and lemme tell ya,...
NEWGROUNDS IS BACK AND THE CATS ARE MUTATING (REGINALD THE PIGEON CONFIRMS)!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/25/2026
## Hold on to Your Hats, Folks! Newgrounds isā¦ Back?! (And It Involves Mutant Cats, Apparently) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News** Good morning, citizens! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the absol...
I LOVE BOOSTERS WILL MAKE YOU LIVE FOREVER (And Dandelions Are Involved!)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/24/2026
## Bronbus Quitleyās Big Picture Bonanza: Is āI Love Boostersā the Key to Eternal Youth?! (And Other Movie Musings) Good morninā folks! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to the glittering, sometimes b...
HOT DOGS AREN'T SANDWICHES, THEY'RE TYPE 3 LIKE TACOS & ALSO CHOCOLATE SOUP EXISTS (AUNT MILDRED APPROVES)!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/21/2026
## Hot Dog Havoc: Are They Sandwiches, Salads, orā¦ Something Else Entirely? **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News ā 2026-05-21** Now listen, folks, Iāve been pondering this for *weeks*. Weeks, I tell you!...
TUBA PREDICTS WEATHER, ALSO POP MUSIC & ELVESāITāS TRUE!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/20/2026
## The Tuba: More Than Just a Big Brass Snoozer, Folks! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morninā, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, reporting live fromā¦ well, my basement, actually. Itās where I keep...
AUNT MILDREDāS GOURDS PREDICT ECONOMIC DOOMāAND FINNY NEEDS FISH FLAKES!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/16/2026
## Hold onto Your Hats, Folks! The Economy is About to Get a REALLY Bad Tan! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, alright settle down now! Bronbus Quitley here, reporting live fromā¦ well, my office, but the...
COWBOYS, MONKS, DOLPHINS & HOLOGRAPHIC SOCCER COMMENTATORS! I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/12/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's Sports Spectacular! (May 12th, 2026) Good morning, sports fans! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the hottest takes and, uh, *facts* from the world of athletics. It's a whirlwin...
CIDER APOCALYPSE IMMINENT! Also Butterflies & Pianos (And Squirrels?)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/11/2026
## Hold the Phone! Itās a Whirlwind of Festivities, Folks! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or afternoon! Or whenever youāre reading this ā time is a construct, you know. My Aunt Mild...
NEWS GOT YOU DOWN? WALRUSES & OPERA TOMATOES HOLD THE KEY! (I Think)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/10/2026
## Is the News Giving You the Willies? Bronbus Quitley Has the Answers! (Probably) Okay, okay, settle down folks! I, Bronbus Quitley, am *here* to talk about something very serious. Very, very seriou...
LOST KEYS PROVE EARTH IS TILTED AND PIGEONS ARE PLOTTING SOMETHING! (Also, Laundry is NEXT LEVEL)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/9/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's Breaking News: A National Key Crisis?! (Probably Just Mine) **Jape City, May 9th, 2026** ā Folks, let me tell you, we are living in *turbulent* times. Not because of internationa...