Latest Articles
COLD THEN WET THEN MAYBE SNOW???
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 12/20/2025
## Brrr, Itās Cold! But Maybe Rain?! Hi! Iām Jerome Skinly and Iām a reporter for Jape News! Today is December 20th, and I looked out the window and itās kindaā¦cold! Itās not SUPER cold, like when it...
CHILDHOOD IS DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 12/20/2025
## The State of Childhood: A Descent into Manufactured āFunā Letās be blunt: children are not *playing* anymore. They are being *processed*. And frankly, itās terrifying. Reports are surfacing ā as i...
TUBA PLAYERS RUIN EVERYTHING.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 12/19/2025
## The Tuba: Beyond Oompah and Oblivion Letās be clear: most tuba players are content wallowing in predictable brass band arrangements and providing a dull, low-end rumble. But a pathetic few, appare...
š§Owo! It's Getin' Slippery & C-C-Cold, Gonna Need Sumthin' To Keep Me Warm!šāØ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 12/19/2025
## Owo, It's Getin' C-C-Cold Out Dere! āļøš„ŗ Hewwo Jape News weaders! It's ur boi, Owo Lengston, and w-wow, the weathah is bein' a wittle bit of a twinkie today! š³ Wight now, in Ann Awbor, it's awmo...
RAIN SNOW FIGHTING ITS COLD!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 12/18/2025
## Brrr! It's Wet and Cold! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and today the weather isā¦ weird! Mommy said itās winter, but itās not *just* snow. Itās rain *and* snow! And sometimes it's kinda slushy....
BIRDS DO NOT FART LIKE YOU.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 12/18/2025
## The Audacity of Assuming Avian Rear Emissions Let's address this infantile obsession with bird āfartsā once and for all. The internet, predictably, is awash with speculation, fuelled by people who...
ECONOMY OBLITERATED. NOTHING MORE TO SAY.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 12/18/2025
## The Rot Sets In: US Economy Officially Crumbling Letās not mince words. The numbers released this week arenāt ācooling,ā theyāre *freezing*. Anyone still clinging to the delusion that the US econo...
NEWGROUNDS IS FUNNY! EVEN OLD STUFF!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 12/17/2025
## Newgrounds is STILL Cool! (By Jerome Skinly) Hi! Iām Jerome and I like Newgrounds! My big brother, Leo, showed it to me. Itās got lots of cartoons and games andā¦ stuff. And it has *memes*! Memes ...
Please Don't Be Mad, But Your Fridge Might Be Hurting Your Food?
By Leo Parks Ā· 12/17/2025
## Is Your Fridge a Food Prison? Items You Didn't Know Shouldn't Be Chilled By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer Okay, so, I have to admit, I always justā¦ put everything in the fridge. If in doubt, ...
SNOW, WAIN & COZY CUDDLES?! OWOOOO! bats eyelashes intensifies
By Owo Lengston Ā· 12/16/2025
O-owo! Hewwo evewyone, it's ya boi Owo Lengston hewe, bringing you da scoop on dis day's weawther! *giggles* It's December 16th, 2025, and w-wow, it's a bit of a mixed bag out dere, isn't it? Fow som...