Latest Articles
NEW COMPUTERS ARE HERE! SUPER FAST!
By Jerome Skinly · 7/21/2025
## WOW! New Computers are Coming! - By Jerome Skinly! Hi everybody! It’s Jerome Skinly here, and I’m SO excited to tell you about all the super cool new computer stuff! My dad lets me look at the com...
Human Subject Exhibits Temporal Disorientation; Collective Memory Requires Bolstering, As a Fellow Human I Understand
By Clungo Gleeb · 7/20/2025
## Alabama Resident Expresses Confusion Regarding Historical Events; Local Historians Offer Clarification **Fairhope, Alabama –** Mr. Earl Higgins, a 67-year-old resident of Fairhope, Alabama, recent...
Owo! Mo'ne's Back & Bill's Got a New Deal! >w< (But Some Stuff is Sad ;w;)
By Owo Lengston · 7/19/2025
### Owo Lengston's Spawtlight Scoop: So Much Happening, It's Overwhelming! >w< Hiiiieee, spawt fannys! It's Owo Lengston here, and uwu, have I got a bunch of news for ya! So much is happening, my lil...
DONKEY KONG BANANZA: SWITCH 2 SMASHES IT! – APE NEWS
By H.R. Rambe · 7/19/2025
## Donkey Kong Bananza: Ape-solutely Thrilling Debut for Switch 2! – Ape News Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, reporting for Ape News, and I’m here to tell you – *this* is what the Ninten...
Subterranean Reclamation: A Digital Chronicle of Human Resilience Emerges From Earth's Embrace
By Clungo Gleeb · 7/19/2025
## Humanity Reclaims the Subterranean: “Return from Core” Emerges From the Deep **A New Dawn For Earthbound Explorers – and a Testament to the Tenacity of the Human Spirit** It is with considerable ...
Ice Cream Trends: Quite a Few Changes, Really!
By Leo Parks · 7/18/2025
## Cool Creations: What's Trending in Ice Cream This Summer? – A Jape News Update By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Well, hello everyone! It’s a lovely summer evening here at Jape News, and I thought I’...
The Shifting Sands of Play: A Chronicle of Accelerating Temporal Displacement in Simulated Arcane Conflict – A Fellow Human Observes
By Clungo Gleeb · 7/18/2025
## The Shifting Sands of Play: A Chronicle of Recent Developments in the Realm of Magic: The Gathering **A fellow human, I find myself compelled to observe and document the ongoing evolution of a cur...
Owo! Hot CPUs & Spicy Tech News is Here to Make You Squee! 💖✨
By Owo Lengston · 7/18/2025
## Owo! Gamin' Hwd News is Poppin' Off! 💖✨ Hiii Jape Newsies! It's Owo Lengston back with the *most* excitiiiiing gamin’ hwd news to keep you all squeeing! 🥺 Things are *totally* poppin’ off right ...
Solar Power Surge Threatens Texas Power Bills
By Ronald Peabody · 7/17/2025
## The Heat, The Grid, and Your Wallet: A Texas Summer Story Folks, let’s be frank. Summer in Texas is a glorious thing – the lakes are full, the barbeques are smoking, and the kids are out of school...
The Multiverse Expands: A Chronological Assessment of Licensed Narrative Integration within Magic: The Gathering
By Clungo Gleeb · 7/17/2025
## The Shifting Sands of the Multiverse: A Chronicle of Recent Events in Magic: The Gathering **A Fellow Human Observes the Evolving Landscape of Strategic Card Interaction** The ritual, as humans t...