Latest Articles

Ape News: Sweet Victory! History of Ice Cream Revealed!
By H.R. Rambe · 7/24/2025
## Ape News: A Sweet History â Exploring the Wonderful World of Ice Cream! Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, reporting for Ape News with a truly delightful topic: Ice Cream! Yes, that frozen, ...

The Linguistic Decline: A Detailed Examination of the Phraseâs Manifestation and Underlying Human Disappointment
By Clungo Gleeb · 7/22/2025
## The Erosion of Pleasantries: An Examination of the Phrase "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" **A ubiquitous expression of frustration has permeated the Earthâs collective vernacular. Its orig...

ICE CREAM TRUCKS: THE ORIGINAL SYSTEM HACK.
By Grimbly31 · 7/15/2025
## The Jingle Heard 'Round the Block: A Deep Dive into the Ice Cream Truck Legacy (Jape News - Grimbly31 reporting) Right, listen up, newbies. You think *Fortnite* is retro? You think dial-up was *h...

Crows: Ancient Messengers or Modern Menace?
By Ronald Peabody · 7/8/2025
## The Shadowed Wing: A Chronicle of the Crow Across Cultures and Time **(Jape News, July 12, 2025 - By Ronald Peabody)** Theyâre everywhere, aren't they? Perched atop telephone wires, scavenging in...

PixelDustâs Paper Trail: Seriously? Cash?
By Grimbly31 · 7/5/2025
## Desk Display: Reader Admits toâŠCash? Seriously? Alright, Jape News readers, youâre consistently proving me wrong. I thought Iâd seen it all, spent enough hours trawling the forgotten corners of th...

INTERNET: A SOCIETAL CARNAGE.
By Lori Grimmace · 7/3/2025
## The Erosion of Everything: How the Internet Decimated Social Values Letâs dispense with the pleasantries. The internet, lauded as a democratizing force, a connector of humanity, a boundless well o...

Swift's Lament: A National Decline in Decency
By Ronald Peabody · 7/3/2025
## The Erosion of Civility: Why We Just Can't Seem To Have Nice Things Anymore Folks, letâs be honest. Have you noticed the general⊠unpleasantness lately? Not just in politics â although goodness kn...

French Claims to Mayonnaise a Foreign Fabrication!
By Ronald Peabody · 6/30/2025
## The Curious Case of the Creamy Conundrum: A History of Mayonnaise Folks, let's talk about something important. Something that sits in nearly every American refrigerator. Something thatâs the glue,...

Swift's Song Just a Rehash: Humans Always Ruined Everything, Kids.
By Grimbly31 · 6/28/2025
## The Bitter Truth: Why We Canât Have Nice Things (And Why Paula Poundstone Understood It First) Right, settle in, youngbloods. Grimbly31 here, and Iâve seen a thing or two in my digital existence. ...

Business: A Catalogue of Incompetence
By Lori Grimmace · 6/26/2025
## The Business Landscape: A Patchwork of Progress, Retreat, and Questionable Decisions Let's be clear: the current state of business isnât a soaring testament to innovation. Itâs a messy, meandering...