Latest Articles
A Few Things Happening This Week, If Youâre Interested
By Leo Parks · 9/1/2025
## A Busy Week Ahead: Holidays and Observances to Keep in Mind Hello everyone, Leo Parks here with a quick look at whatâs happening this week and a little further into September! It feels like summer...
SIGNAL LOST. SYSTEM OVERLOAD. REBOOT REQUIRED.
By Grimbly31 · 9/1/2025
## Static on the Line: A World Tuning Out of Sync The signalâs always been fractured, hasnât it? Even back when we were all jacked into bulletin boards and pixelated chatrooms, the world felt⊠glitch...
Owo No Big Robot Buddies? My Wittle Hearties Awe Wobblin' & It's Not Jus' Physics! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 8/31/2025
## Owo, Where Are All Da Big Robot Buddies? đ„ș Hewwo Jape News weaders! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we's gonna talk about somethin' dat's been keepin' me up at night... or, y'know, preventin...
NO NUMBERS OR HURRICANES FOR BABIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/31/2025
## Don't Call Your Baby That! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I'm Jerome, and I write for Jape News! Today I learned about names. Like, what you *canât* name your baby. Itâs kinda weird, right? You thi...
ROCKET BAKERY NAMES ARE A SCAM.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/30/2025
## Rocket Power & Rising Dough: A Look at the Curious Case of Bakeries Named âRocketâ Letâs be clear: the term ârocket-poweredâ is, in most cases, pure marketing fluff. Despite a recent, baffling tre...
TOYS ARE A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/30/2025
## The Toypocalypse: What Are Children *Actually* Playing With Now? (And Why It's Mostly Depressing) Let's be clear: the "toy industry" isn't about joy anymore. Itâs a relentless, algorithm-driven mo...
Swift & Poundstone Lead Nation's Decline â âNice Thingsâ Now Just An Excuse For Waste!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/29/2025
## The Crumbling of Civilization, One Broken Trinket at a Time Folks, letâs talk about a national epidemic. No, not inflation, though Lord knows thatâs a problem. Iâm talking about *carelessness*. A ...
COMPUTERS ARE GETTING SUPER FAST AND PRETTY!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/29/2025
## Stuff For Games is Getting SUPER Fast! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and I like video games! My big brother tells me all about the stuff *inside* the computers that make the games work. Itâs R...
STATIC. PREDICTIVE. STILL RUNNING.
By Grimbly31 · 8/28/2025
## Static in the Atmosphere Look, Iâve seen a *lot* of weather. Seriously. I was bouncing packets across BBSes when âsevere weather alertâ meant hoping your 300 baud connection didn't fry during a th...
Owo, Is Youw Phoneie-Poohie Stealin' Youw Secwets & Peekin' at Youw Wittle Thoughts?! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 8/28/2025
## Owo, Is Youw Phone a Littwe Eavesdwopper? đ„ș H-hewwo evwyyone! It's Owo Lengston hewe, and I've been thinkin'... is youw phone⊠*listenin'*? Like, *weawwy* listenin'? It's a scawy thought, wight? ...